Three Nights in Paradise, and Tears of Sadness
Posted on September 22, 2008
I spent three Ramadan nights in police lock-up and yesterday night as I lie down on my bed as a free man, tears flowing on my cheek for the first time since the death of my mum.
The moment I step into the lock-up in Kota Bharu District Police Station, the moment all confusion subsided, I sat facing the wall all the time because I cannot bear looking at the other site where the ‘attach’ bathroom is.
I recite Hasbun-Allah- Wa-Ni’ma-Wakil and Ya-Malik-ul-Mulk Dzul-Jalal-Wal-Ikram all the time only to take a break to perform solat and solat sunnat. It was the most peaceful time I ever experience. Those nights, living bear minimum, lying down on the unfinished cement, without any shirt to wrap me, yet I felt very warm. I felt very complete.
It was an un-worldly moment. I felt no fear. No anger. No remembrance of those I left behind. It just me and… Him.
When I fallen asleep, I can feel my mother and father, both, whom has left the cruel world, is there, smiling at me. It is the strangest experience yet such a wonderful one.
On the last day in the Dang Wangi Police lock-up, I shared these feeling with the person in–charge of the lock-up. He looked at me and said, you felt this way because you are innocent. He is very apologetic and wishes I understand his nature of work.
During my last Subuh prayer in the lock-up, I pray to God that, if in His eye, I am innocent then please forgive those whom due to the call of duty had to do what they did. I bear no grudge against them. When we met, we are strangers but we parted as friends.
For 4 days and three nights, I have been robbed of my rights as a citizen of Malaysia, but nobody can robbed the experience I have had during those time from me forever.
Abdullah’s regime can only take the freedom from my body but can never take the heaven from my heart for God alone is sufficient for us He is the disposer of affairs. He the eternal owner of sovereignty, the Lord of majesty and bounty.
I knew since the day I was arrested, police will on Tuesday arrest another Malaysian whom the Government claimed had insulted the SONG and today I knew they are looking for another Malaysian blogger whom still flying the flag up-side down. I too knew those two person is just a victim of Abdullah’s political survivor. I pray for them to be strong. This is just the beginning for us, but rest assure that it is the end for Abdullah!