Smoking in Paradise
Posted on October 24, 2007
Who said smoking is bad for your health?
My father has been smoking at least two packs a day for the last 40 years and he is very much healthy at the age of almost seventy. I bet during his military years, when the government provide free cigarettes to the army, he even smokes more. He is the living prove to those who claims smoking is bad for your health.
Well, that was my arguments for as many years as I can remember.
In 1997, my eldest kid, Al who was only seven months old could not sleep the whole night. He cried and cried and not even wanted to drink his milk. First thing in the morning, we brought him to see the paediatrician and upon seeing his condition, he told us, Al had an episode of Asthma attack. If the condition prolong, he needs to be hospitalised for treatment. We discuss on all the possibilities of what triggers the attack and the conclusion pointed directly to my smoking habit.
Al’s condition deteriorated further. I cannot help but blame myself and immediately threw the pack away, swear not to smoke again.
Upon seeing Al being tortured with all the procedures and therapies, I knew, I love Al more than my smoking habit. No tears can reduce the pain of inflicting damage to your kids.
Six months later, I am back puffing my way to paradise.
In 2003, when the Cardiologist from IJN, my Buddy Dr. Joshi rang me at the office about my Dad, who was hospitalised for heart complication, I am still puffing away almost 40 sticks a day. But, that very night, after the scan result of my Dad’s lung come out, I left Dr. Joshi’s office with blurry vision. My watery eyes cannot hide my sadness. It is lung cancer.
On my way back, I wind down the window and throw a still half pack Marlboro out. Never to smoke again, but, again, only for the next three months.
My Dad passed away due to the lung failure cost by the cancer. If that will not be a good reason for me to quit smoking, than nothing will. I decided to part my way again with the cigarette once and for ever. God is on my side as always.
For almost two years I off the fags. Life is not easy. Smoking is heaven, not smoking is hell. I can never understand how people said life is better without cigarette. Immediately after quitting, you are alone facing the withdrawal syndrome.
First, you get tired easily on the football field. Second, your tempers started to fly unguided. Not to mention putting another ten to fifteen Kilo also instantly and having people staring at your double chin even went you are having tea with Maya Karin.
But the worst was when you are having the most intimate moments with your love one.
Ooops I did it again! Just five minutes and you are off searching for the remote control to watch SpongeBob in the middle of the night not to turn to your partner whom started to lose patience with your rabbit stunt. There goes the Arabian Stallion whom used to a marathon of passions. Damn.
I still remember, the day I whispered to my “football buddy” doctor, behind the goal post about what happen, he just calmly said, well ‘it happens’. What!!! You bloody mean that I have to live like this for the rest of my entire youthful life?
‘It will take times before your body could adjust to the lacking of nicotine in its system’. I demanded for him to give me a straight answer for the duration of this ‘withdrawal syndrome’. He has no scientific answer for it as human bodies differs.
“Hey doc! What about my UMBRO six studs stick to your mouth!” I am so disgusted.
Cigarette is the best buddy a man can have. It is undeniable.
Who will be there to entertain you when you are kept waiting for people who are late for the meeting. Do you think people will be on time for the meeting just because you have quit smoking?
Do you think you wife will stay all night with a bowl of Bovril for you when you have to face the lap top to meet the tomorrow morning presentation?
Do you think, Alex Ferguson care to share his chewing gum with you when Arsenal is leading Manchester United by a goal with only stoppage time to play?
No one can ever take the role like you best buddy you called Ciggie! She’s the babe; she’s the hottest of all.
In 2005, I started dating my Ciggie again and she the most loyal one till today.
Over the years, long before I divorced her and make a comeback (three times altogether), Ciggie without fail is there for me, day or night, rain or shine. I never share anything like what I share with Ciggie.
I wrote almost 50 scripts with Ciggie, I directed more than 200 hours of airtime with her, I cried and laugh with her between my finger and lips.
Then, you come to think of it, is this the real you? Is Ciggie is that loyal or just after your cash? Is Ciggie actually making you look good or it is just your illusion?
Ciggie without fail, making me smells like an ashtray just five minutes after I splash the Aramis After Shave. Ciggie without fail taking me away over and over again from my kids because she is bad for them. Not to mention the many times she cause me to be late for a meeting because I need to detour to the closest Seven Eleven.
Because of Ciggie, I have missed at least 4 of Cristiano Ronaldo’s goal as my beloved Rifqi had banned me to take Ciggie with me for the live session with Manchester United.
Because of Ciggie, I have plenty of sleepless night, because Seven Eleven is nowhere near the place I am staying.
Because of Ciggie, my gum is constantly bleeding as I had to use the hardest bristle to remove all her stain on my teeth.
Some even said, I should blame Ciggie for the hair that soon going to be history from my head.
As I am writing this, I am staring at the divorce letter for Ciggie in the form of a bottle of syrup called NUTRA CRAVE X. It is distributed by MUJARAB ENTERPRISE SDN BHD (498053-P) and the syrup is licence under The Ministry of Health (Licence number MAL 06061486 TC). The syrup contains cocktails of Plumeria, Melastoma and Royal Jelly.
I will not recommend this product to those readers who are still wants to continue smoking. The reason is only because, it is very effective. But to those who have been tinkering about divorcing the puffing habit, this is worth dozens of fags.
To those mothers who have schooling kids who just pick up this smoking habit, this is an easy solution for your worries. To those daughters who are worried about your dad’s smoking habit, maybe, on his next birthday, this shall be your gift to him.
I will not say more, but trying to think what I should tell my ‘roommate’ about the forthcoming rabbit stunt!
For more information on NUTRA CRAVE X, please contact tel: 09 771 4270 / 09 771 4271, fax: 09 771 4272. Or browse the site at www.antismoking.com.my.
Office Mate trying to kick-off the Ciggie.