My mama is now in CCU ward of Hospital Raja Perempuan Zainab II Kota Bharu. The hospital had to ventilate her as she cannot breathe without the support of the machine. She was hospitalised around seven-thirty pm on the 4th of August 2007. Her blood pressure has dropped significantly during the first few hours. However, as for today, she began to show the sign that she is responding to the treatment regime dedicated to her; nevertheless her condition is still, critical but stable.

I was in Penang when I was informed of her condition. I left the Gala Night for FFM20 before it begins and left for Kota Bharu via East West Highway. I arrived in Kota Bharu at three am and found she is heavily sedated, her blood pressure is still like a “yoyo” and her heartbeat rate is 155.

When I was small, Mama used to sing to me this unknown song,

“Dulu, di bendung di pangku,

di ajarnya berkata,


Nasi, di pipih di suapkan,

di pimpinnya berjalan,

kasih mesra ibu.


Tapi kini hanya,

ku lihat pusaramu,

tempat baring si ibuku,

yang sangat ku sayangi”


I prayed to God, to be given another chance to hear her voice again. How I missed it. And I am not yet ready to miss her.