My dearest Chai Kee,

I am feeling very anxious by your recent email. I really hope you will find solace in the stunning city and the Taipei 101 will do justice to your soul. What can I say, life is life! That is why it is so attractive.

Maybe, maybe not, but it is like meeting you and one day, after twenty-years, while trying to comfort myself to sleep, I realised, I have lost you, perhaps, forever.

Sometimes, you realise instantly of things that you just lose, sometimes, it take such a moment of soul searching for the realisation to occur.

When I decided to leave the comfort of my 2,400 square-foots-penthouse-condominium-unit with all the dreamlike facilities and a view to die for, many tried to find the logic behind such a decision that they considered as disruptive. When I decided to let go the scholarship to pursue my doctorate degree in Salford, I knew instantly, my sanity will be questioned.

My Chai Kee,

Sometime, you have to leave something behind in order to understand it better. When the object is too close to you, it is difficult for you to see it clearly. It is difficult for you to analyse the shape and texture, the subtext within the context.

Same goes with human relationship, love and sex.

Some splendour resembles certain ugliness when you are too close too it, nevertheless it shouldn’t kill the loveliness of looking at it from a distance. Perhaps, it is being made to be viewed only from certain distant.

Some love is not to be conquered.

Be it a woman or a country, some are blessed with such damning exquisiteness but underneath it lies the disturbing volcanic activities.  Some are cursed with such a jagged terrains and bad-lands but what lies beneath it is magnificent minerals and oil.

Some good thing can be cursed. Some nuisance can be blessing. It is for our hearts to choose as we stand by the crossroad and for minds to weigh it. Then, we all have to evolve to suit the choice we made.

My Chai Kee,

Thank you for all your prayer, I might need more as days passes by.

My prayer shall always be with you no matter what your decision will be.

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Hello, darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision
That was planted in my brain
Still remains

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Within the sound of silence In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
Beneath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed
By the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

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And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share…
And no one dare
Disturb the sound of silence.

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“Fools,” said I, “you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.”
“Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.”
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed in the wells of silence.

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And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said: “The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls,
And whisper’d in the sound of silence.

(Simon & Garfunkel – The Sound of Silence)

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