Sheih on Sheih: time to do the Cantona
Posted on March 1, 2007
Please read MALAYSIAN ANTICIPATION OF CANTONA’S MOMENT
In 1994, I was a young man eager to proof myself but confused. Karthigesu, was about to retire. I was about to venture into the real world, Karthigesu was about to starts writing about how unreal the world is. In the mean time, I was also offered a full scholarship to further my study in filmmaking. I still remember clearly, what Karthigesu said, on that particular March afternoon,
“I would be happy if you continue your study and come back to teach here, I’m however, will be happier if you go out there and proof to the world who you are”.
Just like in Cinema Paradiso, Karthigesu’s word stuck to me like Afredo’s word to Toto, “Go and never comeback. I have had enough listening to you talking; now, I just want to listen to people talking about you”.
Nevertheless, I am itchy to return to USM. I can only justify my purpose by organizing a premier there. I requested the now retired Professor Karthigesu to be in my list as guest of honor. It was a wonderful moment to notice him amongst the crowd.
“Professor Karthigesu, thank you sir for all your support. Never a day passes by without me remembering all your good deeds”.
Leaving USM the next day, I told myself, I have fulfill the cycle. I can now do the Cantona. September last year I did just that.
Today, I am standing in front of the undergrads, describing how unreal the real world is. On the other hand, maybe, how too real the real world is. The sweetest moment will be walking out of the class knowing your students had managed to learn something from you today.
That is how I felt yesterday. As I left the class, I was smiling and whistling happily. I thought it would last the whole day. How wrong am I? It turn out, yesterday was a very bad day.
Blogging has creates an avenue for me to express myself and for quite sometime now, blogging has help me to be free. I blog what I felt, and when people visited my blog and read what I have written, I feel even better. Today, I have countless of virtual friends. Whether they subscribe to what I have written or not, I shall still consider them as my friends because they are willing to waste their time and their patience to read through all the glaring grammar and spelling mistake of my Kelantanese English. When they leave, they leave with a piece of me with them. I blog about myself, about how I feel about my father, my mother, my leader, my wallet, my students and nothing about things that I do not know. What I write, maybe wrong, nevertheless I never try to lie about my feelings.
What I wrote may hurt other people’s feeling; nevertheless, I never lie about my feeling. I am not a journalist, I am not a politician neither am I a lawyer nor a doctor. I am just me. I am stupid but I am not going to fool around with my feelings.
I never like people to dictate what I want to write because I never believe one feeling should be the slave of other people’s ideology. Neither is I am going to dictate what my readers going to comment on my posting, nor am I going to stop them from cursing me. Based on that fundamental I subscribe to be part of Band of Bloggers.
Based on that fundamental, I will not stop readers from posting a comment. Based on that fundamental I will not want to lose a friend.
Yusof was among the first virtual friend that I have met. Along the way, I also met new buddies like Zorro and Monsterball. If you read my posting about my father, you will understand me, you will understand why the retired Professor Karthigesu was my life and the reason I donkey-ing myself the last 12 years.
Eccentricity is the virtue of person’s honesty. We can never ask people not to be themselves, I will not have the strength to do thing that I do not believe in and I never believe of asking oneself to be hypocrite. Try ask Anon From Miri, he call tell you that.
We have stand together in this blog against a lot of criticism because of what we believe in. Should now we stop believe in this because we cannot stand each other eccentricity? Should now we cease this virtual friendship because I do not believe in asking one person to be hypocrite?
I am not a saint, I am merely a sinner. I am never proud of being the later but I am what I am.
A fool, yet, I want to be an honest fool.
I rather do a Cantona.